Day 1

This is it she says to herself the day she sits down and blogs her entire life..every bit of it right down from her thoughts to her actions. Why? Because the previous two blogs arent getting any readers :) woke up at 11 got all hyped up to go for abs and lower body class at the gym but that didnt happen because the gym buddy's alarm decided she should sleep longer. Nevertheless reached at 12.30 enough to run for 15 minutes yes i have finally beat my own personal record!! je suis tres contente. pardon my horrid french. i manage to attend the aerobics class and it was a bit slow and mundane at first but let me tell you how i got pumped up afterawhile, i thought of a very very pretty dress and how i would like to see myself in it and voila i was up and running i tell you. So that's done yeah. I felt alright this has been after all been a very good good sunday. An hour and a half at the gym a good breakfast. Next stop, groceries..i had to get myself a good pair of headphones as the other one broke well not technically i was just very rough with it. Grabbed myself a reasonable pair yes they were below the budget and tres tres bon marche. Not exactly but heck its moscow, nothing gets cheaper here. Every single time mind you every single time i pass by Yves Rocher, MAC and Body shop..i swear by far its the hardest thing to do to walk away and force myself to not buy anything from it. To date i have contributed enough to all those above companies i somehow feel i deserve that i should be given some kind of special discount no the 10% that they already give isn't sufficient as i end up exceeding enough to feed a family of 4. Today however it was different, i put my head down and gazed at the cold cold floor and avoided even looking anywhere in that direction!! woohoo!! who said resisting is tough :) blah blah i did my groceries got back, had an amazing shower and spoke to the family for a bit and now here i am struggling to fall asleep and my last thought for the day before i put a full stop to this blog i wish to share lenny kravitz's line from a song '' so many tears i've cried, so much pain inside, but it ain't over till its over'' and that mes commarades is how life should be too that we should never ever give up till the very end until life itself has ended because thats when its trully over..xx

repetez sil'vous plait

i was sitting down and reading a book and listening to jazz and nibbling a chocolate and thats the precise moment when i discovered bliss..what is bliss you may ask? to me that is just it to be able to soak yourself in something so inspiring and yet required such minimal energy. i love it!! i love being able to loose myself for a few minutes in just something out of this world where questions dont exist where time stands still and most of all when i can breathe and know i have discovered a new emotion i had not felt before. so here i am at 24 years old and i find myself thinking that someday in the long long distant future..i want to go to a cooking school in france and learn about food. What would compel me to do that you might ask? simple, my obsession with food from the moment the vegetables are cut to the point they are cooked and in my digestive system. I want to be apart of it all!! i love the french. no, i have not been to france but i dream of it everyday! The eiffel tower, waking up to freshly baked le pains and croissants and the thought of having 7 course meals without worrying about calories. Oui, it is true that is precisely what the french do they never snack in between..yes push yourself away from that muffin!! The french have proper lunch with a glass of wine of course and that thought itself is very satisfying to be able to lay back cut yourself some slack and enjoy what the day has to offer. as the french say '' c'est la vie''

i m yet to figure it out

23 years n here i am..dont ask me how's life been treating me...cos everyday i wil hve a different answer for it..somedays i wake up n i feel tht life is such a misery getting out of bed and carrying out my daily unvoluntary chores which includes goin to class and etc..however somedays, i light up like a christmas tree no wait infact even brighter, i hve this huge smile on my face tht makes me look like a million bucks although i hve to admit i owe it hugely to all the good makeup and on this days, everything seems perfect..from the moment i hve to wait for the bus right up to the time i get back home jump into my bed and rely on my other half which is none other thn ''tia'' oh in case ur wondering ''tia'' is my laptop she is there thru it all..although i dont take good care of her..she is definitely one chic that isnt high maintenance.. my point is,so maybe life is jus that..a perfect state of mind according to our own defintions and the rhythm of our bodies..mayb if jus for one moment we place ourselves at the places we want to be, the things we want to achieve and the people we see ourselves with, that in my point will give us the perfect state of mind or ''heaven'' as we know it by..so what is life after all? a daily routine of mundane tasks, chores and neverending work? for some its the agony of dealing with death, others its accepting someone new into their lifes, n some go thru the seasonal heartaches of getting hurt over n over again...all of it in a nutshell sums up one thing that life is indeed a gift..its the most perfect gift that you and i or anyone of us can have..cos its the different emotions that we;re able to feel to be able to give and to be able to receive..it opens our souls to new boundaries..it makes us see clearly after the dark clouds have passed and to know that its ok to fail, to loose that job which meant so much to us and to give up the bf/gf that we thot wld be the perfect partner..i always ask myself this after everyday has end..what can another person give me that i cant give myself? have we all become victims of subjugated bussiness trades?do we choose our friends base on their merits or do we just choose the right kind of clique that fits into our lifestyle? i find myself answering that you really do have everyting it takes, deep down in that amazing body,mind and soul that you have..ur the only person you really need..cos noone understands u the way u understand urself, noone sees u better than that person that has been there for u from the moment you were born to the time ur laid to rest..and its dissapointing that so many people out there dont even love themselves anymore..funny how ppl celebrate ''valentines day'' and not ''self loathe'' day if u asked me i tink self loathe day would earn departmental stores more money than vday..i mean comeon with the amount of people hating themselves out there n commiting suicide..the hospitals are getting richer by the day...n they say doctor's arent good business man..heck they are, they get income without even having to put up banners and red heart balloons that require u to feel mushy and all in the mood for burning a hole right thru ur pocket...why are we not cultivated to love ourselves in school nor having self respect?? how can one be happy forever if he/she does not even love themselves? i stand wer i m because i have grown to love myself..i use to be weak, n i use to lean on someone else n use them as my main external main arteries to supply blood to my mushy and redundant heart..n it made me fragile and emotionally drained by the end of it...n i constantly felt the need to be with someone to get self assurance that my hair looks fine or i will ace that test...it came to a point i dint even recognize the person in the mirror anymore it felt so strange to look at her..she seems so queer n weak with no mind or thoughts of her own..i used all that negative energy and emotions and chanelled it into positive field of thoughts..and here i am now..strong and independent..i detach myself easily, i have grown to accept hurt, dissapointment and the flaws of others as an advantage of getting me to a better place..a place that i know has so much good to offer me that i will never ever be able to go if it hadnt been for the shit that got me there in the first place...so before i end my day now i take a step back, i reflect and i have learnt to love myself more than anything else in the world and to accept someting that i had not known existed for 23 years..life as an entity of its own..so cheers u guys n i hope u know that once u hve embraced life ur rest assured ur journey has jus began!!